Many of you think motherhood and martyrdom are synonymous, ignoring your needs and dreams to support the people you love the most. But the truth is, you’re only capable of loving another as much as you love yourself. Your love is incomplete if it doesn’t include yourself. You have to feed yourself first—physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually—because if you don’t, you have nothing to give to your family/work/friends.
Many of my clients comment that loving themselves seems a little narcissistic. But actually it’s the opposite (and I’m not talking about the shallow kind of self love by treating yourself to a new Chanel handbag although there’s nothing wrong with that). Because when you fill yourself up–nourished, fueled and bringing your A-game–you are living your truth and interacting with the world as your highest and best self. Think of it like a champagne fountain with the glass on top and when you fill that till it overflows, the layer of glasses beneath it fill up and when that layer overflows, the layer underneath fills up and so on. When your tank is full, you have so much more to give to your kids and to others.
So, this Mother’s Day, take your fabulous nurturing skills and shine them in your own direction.
Just ask yourself this question every day, “What would I do if I did love myself?” That is the ONLY question you need to answer, and when that answer comes, that’s ALL you need to do. Every day. And it may be a different answer on different days. Then you wait and see the life that unfolds before you. It will be YOUR life. Of your OWN making, instead of a life built out of fear—fear of displeasing or fear of failing!
Start reminding yourself what feeds you. What lights you up. What you love to do. What moves you to tears. Make a list of the things that make you laugh, that make you feel inspired, that make you smile with anticipation. Don’t worry if the list is short at first. Start working this muscle and the ideas will eventually start to come. I promise. Make a commitment to do one lovely thing for you. For seven days in a row. If you forget and miss a day, start over. Seven or fourteen or twenty-eight extra days will only make you better.
Take a listen to how you speak to yourself. If you would never ever speak this way to your child or your mother, make a commitment to clean up your act because guilt and shame are a war we wage on ourselves and it’s time to drop the knife you’ve been holding to your own throat and love up your self talk. When you’re struggling with making healthy choices: burger/fries or salad, ask yourself “What is the choice I would make if I really loved myself?” Give yourself the same love, attention and tenderness that you would bestow on your beloved child or pet.
I challenge you to try the negativity diet, i.e. you stop the negative self talk for a week, a day or even an hour, whatever is available to you. When the negative chatter arises, simply be aware and try to replace it with a more loving thought that affirms that you love and accept yourself no matter what! The quickest way to change your physical being is through sound, and by that I mean, the sound of your own words/thoughts. So what you say and what you think greatly impacts how you perceive the world. When you change your dialogue with yourself and start “owning” and not just “renting” your own body and loving it no matter what, it will transform the way you see the world and how you interact with it!
Take it one day at a time. Remember how many deep breaths you’ve taken as a mother?
How many second chances you’ve given?
How many times you just love them anyway?
Something to try this Mother’s Day Week.
Love yourself this same gentle way.
Allow yourself the help you need. There’s help for emotional eating, stress, overwhelm, fatigue, moodiness, hormones and a life out of balance. And you’ve got a big life you’d probably rather be investing your energy in. Ask for what you need, let help in, and get on with your amazing life.
When you commit to doing it differently and finding a smart, strategic approach that fits you and your life, one of the most powerful tools you can add is ongoing work with a coach who knows the ropes, is invested in helping you achieve your goal, and who has expertise in breaking out of ruts and doing it differently. That force in your corner, that voice that helps you see your progress as well as where you are getting off track and reminds you it’s normal to feel awkward because you’re doing something new. That person who helps you believe that you can do this thing (and helps you figure out the steps to making it happen).
I do this work because I love seeing the magic that happens when someone’s health and energy skyrocket because they found the nutritional or emotional course correction to make that happen. When their now well nourished body becomes a vehicle for their purpose and where they leave the world a better place. If that’s YOU, my Mother’s Day gift is to offer you a complimentary 30-minute Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It breakthrough phone consultation. During this transformative session we will work together to:
- Understand where you are broken and not loving yourself and what those symptoms are trying to tell you
- Assess how you are responding to stress and how those elevated stress hormones are literally changing your body’s metabolism and calorie burning capacity and how to reverse this frustrating cycle of stress and weight gain
- Address your physical, emotional, environmental and psychological stressors, so you can dissolve them systematically and flip the switch to go from “aaargh” to “aaaaaah”
- Uncover hidden challenges/saboteurs that are keeping you stuck in a vicious cycle of stress, hormonal imbalances, cravings and weight gain
- Optimize your nutrition while adding in adaptogens that will help you with that icky tired but wired feeling that is robbing your sleep
- Create a blueprint (that does not involve calorie-counting, denial or deprivation), so you’ll leave the session feeling renewed, inspired and ready to love yourself to better health
Only 5 spots available on a first come, first serve basis and once these appointments are gone, they’re gone. Click here to email me with all your contact info and I’ll be in touch to schedule your consultation so you can love yourself back to great health!